The Khanate of Katlam

[- JO -]

I love all the little buildings and ships. The border is nice. The landscape is good. I think the ridgelines on the mountain ranges could maybe be a little thinner (or the other linework on the mountains a bit thicker), as they kind of jump out at me and distract from the mountains as a whole. The only other thing I can criticize is the label. Both the text and the decorative element have a lumpiness to them, as if drawn with a slightly shaky hand that couldn't be bothered to use a ruler to get a straight edge on the linear parts. It also has a shadow to it that makes it seem like an added element stuck on top of the map. I think it is the combination of these features that bothers me. I would suggest considering going back to a scroll, but using a neat, stylized scroll suggesting a more advanced time period than the ragged scroll you first used. Scrolls are still used as a decorative labeling element, but the tend to be a bit fancier and more ribbon-like. Also, not ragged and showing holes. Also, if "Albahr Aleazim" is the name of the ocean, I would move it back up to where it was. Moving it down not only has left the top of the map rather empty, it could be labeling either the ocean or the islands/the big island.

Also, could you maybe add a couple of ships under sail? There's lots of those nifty little ships, but they're all in port with sails furled. It'd be great to see some in action.

Thanks a lot Rdanhenry, for your very complete report ! I'm glad you took time to speak your mind, and I found it very helpful ! Though I liked my title pretty much, you were right about the style, that doesn't match the style of the map... (I'll keep this title and use it elsewhere, for a more "approximative" map)

You'll see here that I tried a new cartouche, I hope you'll have time to let me know what you think !

And thanks again for your idea of some ships sailing ! Here again, you're absolutely right : the seas seems very empty so... And I'll enjoy a lot drawing some ships going around !

It looks good to me. Like the colors and subtle shifts from one to the other. The only thing that didn't stand out for me was the labeling on the land masses, it seems to be a little too light in some areas where the background coloring is also light. Maybe a slightly stronger border around the lettering would make it stand out a little better. But not super heavy, just a tiny bit more is all, and half-blind people like me might have an easier time reading. As for the rest, I'm digging it.

Thanks Greason Wolfe for taking the time to write your comment ! You are right : from far, one could absolutely not read or even see the labels. I made the outline thicker (one pixel !) And I think it makes all the difference ! See here if you can tell the difference :

Latest WIP :

Khanat of Katlam 04.jpg